She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
