Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
