We won't sleep together?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
