Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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