I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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