we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
