He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
