I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
