a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
