quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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