shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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