she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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