Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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