In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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