susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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