Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
