question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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