That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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