i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
