I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
