She's JV to your varsity
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
