brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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