my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
