24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
