just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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