Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
