I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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