You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
