garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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