I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
