Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
