Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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