...so i touched it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
