I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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