There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There's even glitter on my cock...
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