Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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