3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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