That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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