He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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