mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
