She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
