Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
