i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
