Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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