you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
