No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
