She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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