ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
