I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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