That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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