Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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