it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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