HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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