remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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