She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
