White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
