Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
