I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize