I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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