so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize